Where Is The God? – Part I

Where is God
I am a middle-aged man working in a reputed firm. However, I don’t see a life working in a 9 to 5 job & dragging myself to the weekend party burst. So, I started a side hustle to reinvent myself. To see if I can make a dent, not in the universe but at least in a few people’s lives. I wanted my side hustle to become big & be a role model for others. So, I started it (a travel blog) without giving it another thought (Remember always start once you are in the urge of doing, it will be valuable in the future, irrespective of the audience feedback; if you wait even for 10 seconds there are high chances that you will not do that thing again ever). I started writing dedicatedly for many years & I won’t say that I only did it without looking towards the monetary side of the project but for my passion. But, I knew it will take time to get the desired results & this is the funny thing about starting something by yourself, you will have to put efforts, time & resources to the uncertain results & irony is, results are the ones which don’t allow us to take steps in the first place. This vicious cycle of putting results over processes is ruining our mindset. This was few years back.

I started my side hustle with much enthusiasm & overlooked all the distractions that can derail me from reaching my goals. I kept on working on it, with an intent to change something, either in my life or somebody else’s. It is a miracle for a person not as talented as other counterparts in school, college or in corporate but is brave enough to try something new or at least has the vision to do something remarkable (It is important to visualize goal & then work towards it). Few years hence, I am still writing with the same energy but with a minor doubt peeling inside my head. A thought, Is it worth it? Is it worth trying things whose results are uncertain? Sacrificing little pleasures of life to work on it? Is it worth the pain? All these questions arise in mind when the results are according to your liking.

After fighting numerous wars inside my head, about my side hustle & many times, I wanted to quit, but somehow I kept my nerves. When you have done everything in your capacity there is the only way, UP & literary this is the time when we look toward God. A supreme force to help you or to give you some signal whether to continue or not. Here is a twist though, people say if you ask something from the bottom of your heart it shall be fulfilled. I tried the same that too in many ways. I tried challenging God, begging God, avoiding God, admiring God, just to get the desired results. But every time I did, things got worse. So after rejecting several times, a question arised, is God really there or some people are luckier than others?

I mean if you are asking for something from God & it is still far from your reach, then why people feel that God is there. Days after days, I prayed to God for positive results but never succeeded in getting one. The funny thing is when the person starts losing, the confidence drops, & you start to question the steps you took to reach this point. So, every day I went to my bed, feeling dejected, lost & uncertain about the future & thinking of how I will survive tomorrow. It is one thing to say, time will fly & parallel universe to live it.

It is hard to fight this sinking feeling considering how much hard work & sweat has been put in building this. And over that, you have to fight new problems daily, which may or may not be related to your work. It can be anything that occupies your mind from thinking clearly. It is like a domino effect; if one piece falls others follows the suit & one everything falls apart. Once things fall, one looks for the supreme force to help them in their dreaded situation.

Even in the dreaded situations, one tries to motivate him or herself. So during one of those days when the battle is already lost. I was reading books, & while reading one of the books I came across, a line where the author of books asked various CEO’s that how come they are successful, & rest are not. Then, he said the only difference is I didn’t quit. This seems to be a very simple sentence, but it holds the lesson for life, that you should not quit. I was wondering how I came across this line when I was going through a rough patch. Maybe there is someone beyond our sense who keeps you upbeat. This is not the first time, that something like this happened to me. Every now & then, I came across some line, song or quote which motivate me for the next day. Incidents of finding something randomly which motivates you is an act of something. After failing numerous times, how come I stand up to fight again the next day. Then like a eureka moment, a thought crossed my mind. God doesn’t lie in giving you output, but it lies in motivating you to fight once again. Failure is inevitable, but how you fight it & prepare for the next battle is where the God is. And this is mentioned in Indian mythology as well, one can only do work but should not crave for results, as results are not in your hand. God is not present when you get the desired results. God is present when you are done & dusted, failed, miserable, out of thoughts, but still dress up & show the fight, because of a little voice inside your head, telling you to fight for one more time. A little voice, which still believes today you will win & beat the odds. A voice which says, ONE MORE TIME.

So, everytime you will lose, just say to your self. Let’s try ONE MORE TIME.